Saturday, November 9, 2013

Lost Cause

((other post made at Dreams of Malice ))

Someone recently said that they don't trust easily.  I can understand that.  I have very little trust left in me these days.  I'm bitter and cynical, I know, but I have my reasons.  Of course, when this person made this statement, it made me realize something important about myself.  I don't want to be trusted.  To be trusted sets up expectations.  When there are expectations, people can be let down.

On the flip side, I have a constant need to be needed or accepted.  So I do whatever I can to fit in.  It probably comes from the lack of a social life I had in school. I was never a popular kid.  I've always been skinny, gangly, unattractive, and thus I've never really been popular with the girls.  I don't have many male friends because I don't think like a typical male.  I'm more emotional and tend to be more open minded, so I identify more with a female mindset.  So, I usually have more female "friends".  Of course, that's all they are and all they'll ever be.  Not many girls want a goofy looking bastard like me hanging around.

Even throughout my marriage of two years, I was a constant source of ridicule from the friends of my wife.  One particular comment I recall was one where we had posted a photo of her standing in front of me and I had my arms around her waist.  The comment said, "wtf is that thing growing out of your back?"  And I realized I was THAT guy.  The goofy looking bastard that just happened to be lucky enough to land a cute girl, and everyone hated me for it or was confused by it.

So after that relationship ended, I made a vow to myself to never get into another relationship again.  I would never be the "reacher" in the relationship and I would never allow anyone to "settle" for me.  So here it is, 7 years later, and I'm sticking with that.

On the original point of trust, I don't want people to trust me.  I can't trust myself.  I don't want people to think I'm a good guy, because I'm not.  Everything that I do, I do for a reason.  Sometimes I do things for kindness, but that is just to make someone happy or make myself feel better, but it's still for a reason.  Sometimes I go out of my way to help someone, but it's just to show that I can be needed at times.  So yes, everything I do is for a reason.  Some reasons are more sinister than others, but always for my own benefit.

What's the point of all this?  Don't trust me. Don't have faith in me.  Don't think I'm a good guy.  Don't think I have a heart.  Don't waste time on me.   And for the love of whatever you hold dear, don't fall for me.   That will be a fall that will disappoint and destroy you.

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