Over and Over

"I feel it everyday, it's all the same."
"It brings me down, but I'm the one to blame."

Lately it seems to be the same thing every single day.  Work and sleep.  There's nothing between.  I haven't been eating much.  I can't focus.  The medications don't seem to be able to keep up with whatever is plaguing me right now.  I know part of the problem.  Having a gun pointed at you is a terrifying experience, and I'll just have to wait to get over that.  The other part... well, I can't talk about that right now.

So, to anyone reading this, I apologize for all the depression that seems to be running rampant lately.  I'll get better.  I always do.  It's just gonna take me some time to either get over this or break away altogether.  Either way, the coming months are gonna be rough, and I apologize to my "friends".  That's why I'm trying to keep all of this confined to my blog.  Only those that really know me even know about this place, and I won't be spamming people that could care less with truly personal details.  So, I keep the pity party to a minimum.

Someone told me I need to get a hobby, or something to interest me to distract me from my problems.  But those things ARE my problems, or at least part of them.  Photography has caused too many issues in my life, so as it stands, my photo passion is on indefinite hiatus.  I can't sit down and play a video game because I just can't focus long enough before my mind goes where it doesn't need to.

Luckily, in public, I'm a good actor and can hide how I'm feeling.  Dunno how long that'll last.  For now, the overdose of meds is makin' me tired.  So I'm gonna go to bed and hope I can actually get a decent night's sleep.