I won't lie. I've had a lot to drink tonight. I'm barely managing to stay upright in my chair. It took me half an hour to type all of this.

Honestly, I have no idea what I'm gonna post about. Things lately have been rather.. hectic. With the new position at work, I've been overwhelmed by long hours and loads of work. Granted, the pay is good, and that pay will help me in ways I can't even explain. Of course, it also means I'm away from home more, and because of that, I appreciate even more what I have at home. Absence makes the heart retarded and all that.

I've been playing Aion since its closed beta, and in my opinion, it's better than Warcraft. It could just be the fact that I've played WoW for 5 years and it's gotten stale and Aion is all bright and shiny. On a side note, why is Warcraft not busted by the spell checker but Aion is? It's a conspiracy!

I wasn't kidding about not being able to sit up straight.

No matter how I say this, it's gonna sound strange. I am an admirer of the female form. No matter who, or where, or why, or drunk, I can appreciate a fine female. However, that's discrimination. I can also appreciate a fine male just as much, and I have in the past. But what I'm saying is, if you're hot, you're hot, and I won't deny it. If you're cute, use it as much as you can. If you're me, well, get a job and earn money.

At this point.. I believe I have no idea what I'm saying.

"So say we all."

I'm sick.

Take that how ya will.

This morning I woke up all sniffly and sneezy and stuff. I'm sure I looked horrible after a night of a runny nose and sneezing constantly. It was one of those unpleasant moments where you just feel disoriented and dirty. It was almost like Kanye West was there.

Even now, I'm still sniffly and sneezy. Just took more NyQuil than a human should take in a normal week. I'm sure I'll be KTFO soon. However, this is only partially related to this post. Achoo!

On a seperate note, I've been 'single' for 3 years now. This also means I've been lonely for 3 years now. Any adult can add up where this particular locomotive of mental disaster is going. So, yes, I'll admit that I have a problem. I have a disease of the mind which is kinda like alcoholism. When people drink or do drugs, they say things that they normally wouldn't say. I know this from experience. However, in my case (and I'm sure it happens to more than just me), when that certain feeling of arousal/excitability (is that a word?) gets switched on, I also get that diarrhea of the mouth. Regardless of whether I think I'm in control or not, shit will flow out as soon as I open my mouth.

Luckily for me, my self-loathing keeps me away from females most of the time. Thus, the 'certain feeling' generally never arises in public (No pun intended). So, I'm spared from making embarassing remarks to girls I don't know that well. Of course, the downside is that the remarks get made towards a person or two that doesn't really care to hear it. Which leads me back to square one of ... well, I won't say the name of the game. But yeah. I'm sick in the head.

The last post I made was pretty much an extension of this particular problem. Hell, every post has had some connection to it. Let this be a warning. If you know me, or I know you, be afraid. Thoughts will be had. That is all.

"So say we all."

This post has no purpose...

... other than to jump straight to the 'Attractive Girl of the Post'. I'm bored, and don't really give much of a shit beyond that.

"So say we all."

Meh.

What do you do when you feel so strongly about something and yet you can do nothing about it? How do you keep from going crazy when you can't express the raging torrent of emotion inside of you?

This is one of those moments where all the negativity that I generally repress tends to swirl about in my head. Sometimes I want to lash out and let the puissance of my despite destroy everything that stands before it. There's more than one reason why the internet name Malice Mouser has stuck around as long as it has. Malice is a big part of me, and because of that, things generally don't go well, which breeds more malice. I am like a closed circle in many ways. What I was, I will be again. What I am will pass into what I will be until I become what I am again. I don't care if that sounds logical or not.

Of course, as tempting as expelling the venomous malice sounds, the backlash of such a release would simply create more issues that I dread to face. The outcome is a room hidden behind a closed door. The malice may open the door, yet what lies on the other side is uncertain. Either the light will be on or the room will be dark. The room may be dimly lit, or it may be in complete disarray. It may be vacant or welcoming. Such is the issue with Schrodinger's Cat. You can never know what's going to happen until you do something to force a response.

While this seems to sound logical to me at the moment, my sagacity isn't what I'd like it to be. So, despite the complaints and dark expectations of the future, I remain silent.

"So say we all."