It's been a long time coming.

After escaping from Arkham Asylum, I figured it was time to make a blog post that I had been meaning to make for quite a while. If you're wondering why I haven't made it before now, there are a few reasons why I chose this time. One, I've been drinking. Two, things can only be held back so long. Three, well, I have nothing to lose really.

To those that don't know me, I may seem like an asshole. There's good reason for that. I generally AM an asshole. The reasons for this vary from moment to moment, but the dominating reason is that I have a lot of stuff inside me that I hold back on a daily basis. Because I don't let this festering sore heal, I lash out at people as a minor relief to my own, self-inflicted, pain. I won't unleash all of Hell in this post, but I'll knock out a few of those pesky wraiths that haunt me.

First off, I'm not a racist person, really. I don't hate a particular race because of what they are. I do, however, hate particular GROUPS because of how they behave. However, because of the fact that I'm a whitey, anything that I might speak of would be construed as racist, and thus I am limited in my bitching about how some ghetto ass person in a trailer park was acting like a supreme dick/cunt.

Somewhat related is my complaints against work. I enjoy my job, but my bitching is limited due to the types of people that I work with. Again, this is not a racist comment, as I have complaints about all types of people. I just can't complain because I haven't been around long enough and most people would just as rather toss out a whiner than listen to them, even if the points are valid.

The majority of the demons fighting for dominance of my behavior are related to ..well, relationships, or lack thereof. My particularly pesky phantasms tend to revolve around memories of my ex-wife, and because of the precarious nature of such things, I am under geasato refrain from mentioning any of them aloud. Due to this mental restriction, I am usually in a fairly bitter and cynical frame of mind. At least 3/4 of the things I hold back on a daily basis fall into this category. Of course, even if I were to expel these ghosts from their comfortable residence, there's no guarantee which outcome would have been more preferable. Silence or satisfaction? Well, we'll never know.

For now, back to the Asylum.

"So say we all."

A fun one!

"Guilt is the price we pay willingly for doing what we are going to do anyway."

And that's pretty much dead on. Guilt is one of the more powerful and influential emotions that a person can run across, assuming you're a living, feeling human with a conscience. There are some that have no idea what guilt feels like, and I feel more sorry for them than the people that have to deal with guilt daily.

Guilt can change a person for a myriad of reasons. Guilt can crawl inside a person and lay dormant for any amount of time and then strike when least expected. It's a disease of the soul that can make people do things they wouldn't normally do. Let's explore.

Person A cheats on Person B in a relationship. From here, we can take one of four common paths. Person A confesses and feels guilty, Person A says nothing in lets the guilt eat away at them, Person A says nothing and Person B finds out on their own and then the guilt is that much worse for Person A, or Person A feels no guilt at all and is a heartless fucker that needs to die.

This post borders on the multiverse theory. The actions could be examined any number of ways and those actions lead to others to be examined and so on. I'll keep it simple.

Assuming Person A feels guilt, we'll assume that they said nothing and it lead to them feeling guilty in silence. So, now Person A is going out of their way to 'make it up' to Person B without them knowing what happened. So now Person B is being treated better, getting special gifts and generally feeling better about things. Person A is doing things for Person B that they usually wouldn't, but they know it makes Person B happy, so they do it.

I'm refraining from specifics to make it more accessible to anyone reading this. Also, we'll skip the obvious suspicion that is bound to arise from Person B when Person A starts behaving differently.

The point remains that guilt can turn people, either for good or bad. Think back and wonder how many times you did something (or someone did for you) that was based on feeling guilty. It's amazing how that adds up.

"So say we all."

Thyme Too Keel

I won't lie. I'm making this post simply because I have time to kill. Two hours before work and I have little else to do. So, I make this post for my own benefit because I could care less if anyone else reads it.

A quick summary of the dreams from the last 2 nights. Dream 1 was NyQuil induced. I was hired to work at a clothing store in a Japanese mall which was located on the moon..? The only way to make deliveries to Earth was to go outside and launch them into the air, hoping to beat the moon's gravity so that it sailed to Earth. Anyway, they started to train me and show me around. In the back room, they kept a Dwarven princess captive. Later, I conspired with some sort of monk to free the princess, or something. I woke up shortly after.

Last night's dream was just boring. It's not even worth mentioning except that it was one of those that would NEVER happen in real life. I do NOT ride passenger in my own car. Nor would I let a bunch of 'others' drive it.

I don't know if there's anything else interesting to post. I bought a few new games recently. Dynasty Warriors 6: Empires, Suikoden Tierkriss, Fat Princess (though that was just a download), and Cross Edge. Out of those four, I've played Dynasty Warriors the most, and I just bought it yesterday. Fat Princess is chaotic online fun. Suikoden I have yet to load into my DS, and Cross Edge is a fan service (not in the jiggly way) game that brings together characters from Capcom and a few other companies in an RPG on the PS3. The kicker is that they bring characters from games that no one cares about. I mean, Darkstalkers is all cool, but Atelier Marie? Mana Khemia? Disgaea? Meh.

So, yeah.. Hmm. Cutie of the Post. Lessee.

"So say we all."

It's been a few days..

..and there's reason for that. I started this blog for a few reasons, but in the past week or so, one of those reasons dwindled, as did stuff to write about. In any event, here's a post, albeit a small one.

Had another one of those unrealistic dreams. Well, that could be said for all dreams, but this was one of those that could happen in reality, but you imagine that they would not because of personal feeling. This one involved me having a house of my own with my son, then allowing his mother and her boyfriend or whatever move in as well. Now, not that they would even accept a deal if I offered, the point is that I wouldn't offer. We couldn't live together before, so now or the future is no different.

Second topic! I get picked on by my sisters because there's this girl that works at the nearby grocery store that has features that remind us (sisters and I) of my ex-wife. So, when I go to get something, and they're with me, they joke, "There's your girlfriend!". I just shrug it off really. She's cute and all, but I could tell that she was waaaaay too young. That got confirmed when one of my friends there said that she was indeed far too young. Even then, my sisters joke, "Well you like 'em young, don't you?". That used to be the case, and I would have considered dating a girl her age when I was 18, but now, that's like... the age difference between us is a full jail-bait BETWEEN the jail-bait.

Earlier today, my son amazed me with his vocabulary. When offering some watermelon to my sister's boyfriend, he remarked to me (as he already had some), "I'm just one man!". My son then looked at him and said, "If you duplicate yourself, you'd be two men!". Both Jeremy and I jawdropped at that. First the incident at the Chinese resturaunt, and now this..? This boy is gonna be awesome in school.

And with that, it's time for some more Gundam before bed. OH! Shit. Almost forgot the picture of the post! Triple threat!

"So say we all."

Strange Dreams, Again.

Last night was a rarity. I was in bed before midnight without aid of alcohol or medication. I guess, because of that, and the mass intake of food before bed, the dreams would be bizarre.

The dream, while seperated into two acts, was part of the same story. The first act involved my ex-wife (/waves) and that she had made a choice to come back and live with us (Us being me and our son). Now, while this isn't an abnormal dream, the strange part came in that I didn't really want it to be. Even in the dream, I didn't care. I guess that what they say about absence and growing fonder isn't true at all.

The second act was involved more directly with my son, but the strange part came in that somehow, he had a twin brother that I didn't know about? Completely possible, I suppose. I dunno. Dreams are weird. The most profound thing I could even say in the dream was, "Guess I need to get another car seat".

And it's not even noon yet. I'm sure this day is gonna be full of fun.

As for the balance to this slightly negative post... ! (It fits, trust me!)

"So say we all."