Despre Tine Cânt

"I say I wanna be happy, but I quickly forget."
"Will I sabotage all the good I've got left?"
"Depression's like a big fur coat."
"It's made of dead things but it keeps me warm."

It's been a strange last week for me.  My contact with the outside world has been pretty scarce.  I've left my phone alone for a lot of the time.  A few text messages here and there.  Nothing major.  Trying to break my dependance.  Trying to do a lot of things.  We'll see how that works out.  Anyway, on to the stuff!

Dreams.  Fuckin' hell.  I had this dream last night where I was communicating with the spirits of three dead girls.  I'd say they were between 5 and 10, but I was talking to their ghosts as clearly as I would talk to a normal person.  I'm not sure exactly what was going on, but I believe I was helping them to solve their murders.  It didn't last long before I was zipped into the next portion of a dream.

In this one, I was in a school.  I recognize the layout as my old junior high.  The classes were weird.  It was like everyone was afraid.  If you missed class, there would be harsh penalties.  Me, being the person I am, didn't give a shit and walked out the front door.  Once outside, it was the parking lot of the local mall.  I began walking to my car and realized I was being followed.  I turned around in time to see a group of about 5 guys, one with a gun raised.  He pulled the trigger as a threw my arms up in a vain effort to block the bullet.  I took two shots in the left arm and it hurt like hell.  I still recall seeing my forearm torn to hell and the blood splatters on my clothes.  Next thing I recall was being taken back into some building.  People were trying to deal with the wound while I kept protesting and saying I was fine. 

Dreams are strange. 

But back to reality.  I had my first appointment with the psychiatrist today.  It wasn't as awkward as I thought it was gonna be.  He asked some questions, I answered.  He went off on side tangents, I listened and responded when asked.  All in all, it went smoothly.  He gave me drugs, I'll take them.  We'll see how it goes.  He seems to think that my 'depression' will be cured if I relocate.  I think it might make it worse.  I dunno.  We'll see how the new medicine works.

(A day later...)

Well, the new medicine earns its "May Cause Drowsiness" label.  I learned my lesson on that one.  Definitely an after work med.  I napped after taking it, woke up to go to work, passed out after getting home and slept until about 15 minutes ago.  Anyway, I need to finish this post.